White pants and chocolate protein shakes..

I got dressed. I really did! I woke up, made my bed AND got dressed for the day. In nice clothes even. A delightful sunset orange shirt with enough shape to be flattering but not so much that the squish shows. And white pants. WHITE PANTS, what was I thinking.. Honestly, white pants are for people who have their stuff together and Pinterest pictures.

White pants mean you don’t sit down on or lean on anything that is potentially not clean. White pants look very clean and pretty, a fresh crisp fashion statement. There is no sitting on the lawn or a bench in the park with out the certainty that those pants will be all kinds of mucked up. I don’t want to be that woman who’s walking around with mystery goo on my posterior thank you very much!

White pants in the morning, before breakfast (which is currently a Vega chocolate protein shake). Bahahahaha! I am sure you have caught on to how this moment went. Just for laughs I’ll share 😉

Morning – I woke up simi rested, brushed my teeth. Did all those wake up things that we all do, and then I wandered into my closet. I was feeling pretty good about my day, Double date with some new-ish (and how did we get so lucky?!) friends. First mistake, thinking I could get dressed in the morning with the date clothes for that night. (snort, seriously) So out came the above cute shirt and, thanks to the Vega mornings and some herculean self control, cause I really love chocolate and chips and FRIES…., my now infamous white pants actually fit again.

I slipped them on and, frankly, admired my self. You know how it is, you have just the right lighting and for a moment YOU LOOK GOOD GURL. (Hey, I’ll take it!) Feeling confident and brilliant in my tidy room it was time to update the blog. I sat down on my vintage hair cutting chair, styling chair..?, and started tapping away.

Here it is, the moment you’ve been waiting for. I cracked open a cold one, mmmm rich chocolaty breakfast bliss. Took a sip and the hole in my chin that my mother has accused me of having since I was too small to remember made an appearance. I got taste and then all that morning swagger went straight to the crapper. I managed to drip my shake down my lovely shirt and splatter it onto the white pants.

I looked down and closed my eyes in the vain hope that I was having a hallucination. But, nope. There it was, chocolate dripping down my front like I was a 2 yr old. SPECIAL. sooooo special. Better sense prevailed and I ran to the bathroom whipping off the offended articles and hastily applying water and a nail brush to remove the evidence.

Saved! I saved them, hung them to dry and put on my husbands shorts and baggy tee. Really, what I should have been wearing all along, cause I’m 2 and can’t feed myself. Apparently.

I know you are wondering if I still ended up wearing the date outfit on my double date. I did and GURL, I looked good. Also, I managed to get all my food and beverages INTO my mouth. Gold Star baby.

– Apria

(I am in no way affiliated with Vega, and I get no freebies or compensation from them. But I’m up for it if they are!)

Image above found on Google images.